


If I Can’t Have Your Love...

by Lizbit_97



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, On Hiatus, POV Stiles, Pining, Stiles is Legal, Stiles-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 10:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14306604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizbit_97/pseuds/Lizbit_97
Summary: Stiles is in love with Derek. Derek can barely tolerate Stiles, even on a good day, except for times like this. Where all that transpires between them are grunts, breathy moans and their names.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by some Gifs and decided to write this... this is my first time ever writing on a public account, and it’s been years since I’ve written a story. All grammatical and punctuational errors are mine. This is not beta-ed obviously. I hope someone will enjoy this story. It’s a w.i.p(work in progress for now. Just wanted to write this out before it leaves my mind.
> 
> Update: story is on hold, indefinitely. Currently writing a new story that will be posted sometime this July or August. It will be a multi-chapter story based off of a movie.

Stiles is in love with Derek. Derek can barely tolerate Stiles, even on a good day, except for times like this. Where all that transpires between them are grunts, breathy moans and their names. It’s these moments that Stiles treasures because it’s the only time where Stiles can connect with Derek and he can believe that it means something. That _he_ means something to Derek.

But these moments also break him. When the act is done there is no warmth, Derek is closed off, distant and getting ready to leave. Heck, even during, they don’t kiss, they don’t even hold hands. But he can dream, he can imagine, he can only hope that maybe one day his love and affection will be enough for Derek to finally accept him and reciprocate them.

— —

 

They’ve been doing this no-strings attached thing for nearly 3 months now. Derek knows about his feelings. He had told him when Derek first propositioned him. Derek just told him that if he agreed to the no-strings he must accept that nothing will come out of it. As much as it hurt him, he agreed, if he couldn’t have Derek’s love he’ll take what he can get. But he still has hope of changing Derek’s mind.

— —

 

Stiles dreams of Derek reaching out his hands to rest on top of his while Derek makes love to him, of Derek slowly intertwining their fingers together and pressing soft kisses to the back of his neck and at the juncture between his neck and collarbone.

He dreams of Derek caressing his sides when Stiles rides him, encouraging him whilst gripping his hands and pulling him down for a kiss.

But that’s all they will be... Dreams.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mentioned in the tags, this fic is canon divergence. Derek is alpha, Scott isn’t. He’s just a beta. Stiles is 18. Events of season 3 and onwards not mentioned and implied to not have happened.  
> Alright, hope you enjoy this new chapter.  
> P.s Derek s emotionally constipated, if you couldn’t already tell.

Three months in to their arrangement and Stiles is starting to gain hope. 

Derek no longer hurries to leave, in fact, he has started to linger... Derek doesn’t cuddle him per se, but he stays a bit, sometimes he would even help clean Stiles when he’s too tired to move. 

Stiles doesn’t speak, he dare not ruin this new progress. He simply stays silent, basking in the moment and stores it in his memory for in case it doesn’t last.

 

Derek is currently sleeping after their intense session, lying on his back with one hand across is stomach and the other lying on the bed between them. Slowly and softly, as to not wake Derek, Stiles slides his hand to gently clasp their hands together. In Derek’s deep sleep his fingers subconsciously curl around his hand in return. He closes his eyes and just imagines that this is real. That this moment is what they both want, that Derek loves him too, and is here because he wants to be.

— —

 

Stiles has noticed that Derek has slowly started being nicer to him. He doesn’t snap at Stiles as much as he used to. He’s become more patient, tolerant even. Stiles still does his best to not annoy Derek, he still wants Derek to fall for him. He tries to fidget less, and ramble less. 

Whilst Stiles is happy that Derek is starting to warm up to him, he doesn’t dare get his hopes up too high. Derek has been getting better as a pack leader, he and Scott are getting along great. So maybe Derek’s newfound tolerance is just due to him getting better. Derek’s been hurt and has lost so much, it’s why he never blamed or resented Derek from being a sourwolf. It’s why he nicknamed Derek sourwolf, it’s his term of endearment for him. But he will put Derek in his place if his rudeness is unfounded. 

— —

Derek has started staying the night. Yes, he leaves before Stiles wakes up in the morning, but he’s always there when Stiles falls asleep. Though, to be fair, stiles always waits up until hours after Derek has fallen asleep because he wants to hold Derek’s hand. Thankfully, his fidgeting in the night has prevented Derek from finding out about Stiles’s secret indulgence. And tonight, as stiles watches Derek’s chest rising and falling with every breath, he slides his hand on top of Derek’s, softly stroking his thumb across his hand as their fingers twine together, wanting the intimacy he craves but knows he can’t have. 

Just let him have this moment, however short they may be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I hope this flows well. I might do a Derek POV for the next chapter. This will have a happy ending. I love Sterek they’re my OTP. I normally don’t like angsty gifs because they hurt my heart, but I felt like writing this after seeing some gifsets when I was messing around on messenger. This will be a short fic, if you couldn’t already tell by how short a chapter is.   
> Update: this is on hiatus as the inspiration came from seeing the three gifs attached in the story, I’m having a hard time finding a good continuity of what has happened to what could happen.. so this is put on hold indefinitely.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is welcome, I’d love to know I can improve. If anyone is willing to help and beta my work send me a message :)


End file.
